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The Supreme Court will soon decide on the constitutionality of the RH Law and some observers say that the High Tribunal may kill the law that took two decades to make. The satirist in me partly wants the law to be repealed so that our legislators, especially those who have some ironic streak in them, would pass a new bill regulating the “male body and the use of its precious appendage.” After all, if a law about a woman’s right to control her body is unconstitutional, then, we should also apply the same principle to men. Let’s see how the Supreme Court will decide on such a law, that is, if it ever survives the male-dominated Congress.
Below is my old article first published on August 22, 2011 on “The Chair“ blog. I edited the post and removed some of the racy words, but I think you know what “p****” stands for.
August 22, 2011
Many laws still exist that were primarily written to claim ownership of the female body, which directly interfere with a woman’s right to take charge of her body and mind. The female body has become a venue for political and religious debate; but most of the time, the power to decide is taken away from women themselves. Many laws are still being enacted around the world to make sure that women will never have full control over their bodies. New proposed bills that aim to liberate the female body from the power of the State and many churches are facing opposition from various sectors. For an issue that should be secular in nature, some sectors claim that religion is often brought to the table as a tool to obscure the real problem at hand.
In the spirit of equality and democracy, it is only proper that the State should take control of the male body as well, particularly the human p****, which has been used as a tool to physically and sexually abuse women and children. The p****, being a dangerous biological appendage, should be controlled and regulated like handheld firearm.
I hereby suggest to our honorable legislators that a new law on the male body should be enacted as soon as possible. If this law is passed, the Reproductive Health Bill will become inconsequential and simply redundant.
Here are some sample rules:
The Male Body and Male Genital (P****) Control Bill of 2011
- The p**** should only be used for procreation.
- The sperm is hereby declared as the property of the State.
- The State shall equally protect the life of the father and the life of all unreleased sperm being a key component of an unborn child.
- All sperm should be released only inside the female organ for purpose of procreation. Any other unlawful discharges are considered a form of male abortion, and such an act is punishable by law.
- The male body is sacred and must not be subjected to commercial purpose such as prostitution [using the body for paid sexual services.]
- All contraceptive devices, procedures and drugs designed to limit or impede the natural procreative function of the p**** are prohibited by law.
- All penetrative act of the male p**** before marriage is against the laws of the State
- The vagina is the only orifice legally accredited by the State. Any other orifice used is considered a criminal act.
Please feel free to modify or add some provisions.
A Concerned Citizen