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26 April 2014

The "Not So" Amazing Emma Stone According to Kris Aquino (A Satire)

In her latest interview with “The Amazing Spider-man 2” star Emma Stone, our favorite icon of the selfie-generation Kris Cojuangco Aquino, hinted on her talk show that Miss Stone was “not so” nice, and understandably so because she must have been tired from all the countless interviews that she had to do in a day, not to mention the constant travelling across the globe.  However, the sardonic and unapologetic satirists of Brun Magazine felt that the “Queen of all Media / Oprah of the Philippines” missed a golden deconstructive comic opportunity, that is, if Krissy is more similar to Daria of MTV than Queen Marie Antoinette of France.  Sadly, Krissy is closer to the latter, “allegedly,” to borrow a phrase from Kathy Griffin. Instead of whining about a lost opportunity, we decided to share what Kris Aquino should have done in her interview:


Image part of commentary only.
Image property of Kris TV. Watch full interview 

at this site
Kris: Hi Emma
Emma: Hello.
Kris: You seem tired.
Emma: Yes, a bit. We’ve been doing so many interviews and travelling here and there and we hardly have time to sleep.
Kris: I understand. I am a celebrity too in my country and I get tired as well. Now Emma, I heard that you got paid a lot of money for this role.
Emma: Well, that’s really personal.
Kris: Anyway, I just assumed because this is a big budget Hollywood action movie. Now, Emma, kindly take a look at this picture.
Emma: Okay, what is this?
Kris: That’s a picture of a young woman, probably a bit younger than you. She works in a garbage dump sorting through the rubbish looking for stuff that she can either sell or eat.
Emma: Oh my God!
Kris: She’s from the Philippines. Did you notice how energetic she is going through that mountain of trash? She’s not even sure if she will get paid.
Emma: I see. What’s your point?
Kris: Perhaps with the millions of dollars you’ve been paid to do this token role that does very little to scratch the surface of your talent, maybe you can fake enthusiasm quite a bit longer. I’m from the Third World. I’m not impressed by your A-list status. I'm making an effort to make this interview interesting, do your part. 

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