Search This Blog

26 April 2014

The "Not So" Amazing Emma Stone According to Kris Aquino (A Satire)

In her latest interview with “The Amazing Spider-man 2” star Emma Stone, our favorite icon of the selfie-generation Kris Cojuangco Aquino, hinted on her talk show that Miss Stone was “not so” nice, and understandably so because she must have been tired from all the countless interviews that she had to do in a day, not to mention the constant travelling across the globe.  However, the sardonic and unapologetic satirists of Brun Magazine felt that the “Queen of all Media / Oprah of the Philippines” missed a golden deconstructive comic opportunity, that is, if Krissy is more similar to Daria of MTV than Queen Marie Antoinette of France.  Sadly, Krissy is closer to the latter, “allegedly,” to borrow a phrase from Kathy Griffin. Instead of whining about a lost opportunity, we decided to share what Kris Aquino should have done in her interview:

Image part of commentary only.
Image property of Kris TV. Watch full interview 

at this site
Kris: Hi Emma
Emma: Hello.
Kris: You seem tired.
Emma: Yes, a bit. We’ve been doing so many interviews and travelling here and there and we hardly have time to sleep.
Kris: I understand. I am a celebrity too in my country and I get tired as well. Now Emma, I heard that you got paid a lot of money for this role.
Emma: Well, that’s really personal.
Kris: Anyway, I just assumed because this is a big budget Hollywood action movie. Now, Emma, kindly take a look at this picture.
Emma: Okay, what is this?
Kris: That’s a picture of a young woman, probably a bit younger than you. She works in a garbage dump sorting through the rubbish looking for stuff that she can either sell or eat.
Emma: Oh my God!
Kris: She’s from the Philippines. Did you notice how energetic she is going through that mountain of trash? She’s not even sure if she will get paid.
Emma: I see. What’s your point?
Kris: Perhaps with the millions of dollars you’ve been paid to do this token role that does very little to scratch the surface of your talent, maybe you can fake enthusiasm quite a bit longer. I’m from the Third World. I’m not impressed by your A-list status. I'm making an effort to make this interview interesting, do your part. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

The other contributing writers and members of this publication and our advertisers do not necessarily share the opinions of the writer of the article above. (Hindi nangangahulugan na sang-ayon ang mga ibang manunulat, miyembro ng babasahing ito at aming advertisers sa mga opiniyon ng may akda ng sanaysay na nakasulat sa itaas)

Brun Philippines encourages readers to focus solely on the issues when commenting or criticizing. We do not allow foul language and personal attacks on any individuals. You may only comment on a public person’s beliefs and actions. We strictly screen people who will leave comments, and only comments from readers with full names will be posted. Freedom of speech also includes responsibility. We want to weed out the buffoons from the critical and freethinkers. Thanks so much.

(Hinihikayat ng “Teapot” (Tsarera) ang mga mambabasa na tumutok lamang sa mga isyung pinag-uusapan sa pagkomento o pagpuna. Hindi namin pinapayagan ang napakaruming wika at personal na pag-atake sa sinumang indibidwal. Maari lamang punahin ang aksiyon at paniniwala ng isang publikong indibidwal. Istrikto naming sinasala ang mga taong nagkokomento at tanging ang mga komento mula sa mambabasa na ginagamit ang buong pangalan ang aming ipapaskil. Kaakibat din ng kalayaan sa pananalita ang responsibilidad. Gusto naming alisin ang mga luko-luko mula sa kritikal at malayang mag-isip. Maraming salamat po.)

Follow by Email


Brun Philippines joins the nation in remembering the evils of Martial Law and the fight to bring to justice those who are responsible for the human rights violations and other atrocities committed


Click banner above to see full list of winners