I bought a lotto ticket and I said that if I won, I would donate part of the money to charity. I lost. I thought maybe I was not specific enough so I bought another ticket, and I promised God that if I won, I would donate 50% to charity. I lost again. I thought that 50% was still not charitable enough so I bought another ticket and I promised God that I would donate 70% to charity if I won. I lost again. Finally, I promised God that I would donate 90%. I bought a ticket and then I lost again.
I finally asked God, “Lord, why haven’t I won yet? I have already promised to donate 90% to charity”
God replied, “Hey, everything comes from me so technically, the jackpot money is my money. If you are willing to give 90% to charity, why don’t I just cut the middleman and give all the money to charity myself. I will just put the donation under your name and you will be blessed by me. How’s that?”
I answered, “Yeah, yeah, I’m blessed among all men.”
God said, “You sound bitter.”
“Well, I kind of fancy being the middleman, even for a short time,” I said
“Egotistically bloviating, aren’t we?” God said sarcastically.
“Hey, you designed me so deal with it,” I said. “Just make sure, the money really goes to the needy because the last time I heard some selfish couple got millions and bought a new yacht and they had a wonderful holiday on a private island with their beautiful well-fed children while being attended by their Filipino maids.”
God said, “It’s my money. I will give it to anyone I please. Everything happens for a reason.”
I said, “Whatever!”
VOCABULARY
"egotistically bloviating" is a playful way to describe someone who's excessively verbose and self-important.
KEY WORDS
Divine Lotto Dilemma: A Comedic Quest for Charity Blessings
Lotto Lessons: A Humorous Journey of Generosity and Divine Intervention
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